1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
