She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
