I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
