Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
