i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
