Need sex. Gaining weight.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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