Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude i'm inner monologue high
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
