Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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