The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
