Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
