I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize
