go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
