Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
