When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
