idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I want to fling myself into the sun
The Olympian is in my bed
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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