two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
