i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
