lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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