I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
