I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she told me i tasted like america
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
