Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
