I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
