yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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