Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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