He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
