absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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