guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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