Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
