I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
