You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
is wine microwaveable?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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