Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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