Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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