my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I am available for nakedness
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
