alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Randomize
