ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we're making bets on your personal life
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
