SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
