she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
