i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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