New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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