super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
