I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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