I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
