I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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