hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
