OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
