I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
