I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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