You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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