all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
