You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
