meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
