arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
